Spiraling around

I’ve allowed myself to spiral down a little recently…circling back around to some things that I still need to work on. Trying to allow my eyes to open to the things that make me less than perfect, which is, of course, my biggest flaw.

I don’t know where the need for perfection comes from. I don’t know why being seen as less than that throws me into terrified panic or why I hold myself to standards that are far above what I would expect from anyone else. I don’t know why I take that need out on the people that I love.

I really just want to feel like it doesn’t matter what I look like or that some days I’m a mess. I want to allow myself to let my guard down. I want to be less than perfect and be ok with it. I don’t know how to get there.

How do you let go of something that feels like it’s been with you your whole life? How do you release something when you don’t actually know what it stems from or where it’s hiding? I want to let it go because I don’t want to be perfect…I just want to be the me that I am when no one is looking.

Picture from pixabay.com