Moving Forward

I have stepped into a new life. One filled with new people and new experiences. I step into every day like it’s a dew covered field of grass, sparkling and reflecting light all around. The beautiful new light and energy surrounds me constantly. Even in times of frustration or anxiousness, I feel that I’m surrounded by only those who want just as much peace and success for me as I do for myself.

I realized not long ago that I was struggling to move forward. I thought I was hanging on to something in the past. I have realized that really my struggle was in wanting a specific path for my future. So I let that go. Let go of the life that I thought I would be living. Let go of the people I assumed would be there waiting in the distance.

That sparkly light that surrounds me now was suddenly there, illuminating each step. One step is all I need to see. One step into the beautiful present. One step across that dew covered field. I trust that I am being guided only by love and light and that this path is leading me to a place where I can best be of service and where my greatest good awaits.

Renewal

I’m laying in bed when I suddenly have a vision of dirt coming up from under me and slowly covering my body. I hear a gentle voice telling me not to worry…Telling me I’m safe. The dirt is cool and comforting and it blankets me from head to toe.

“When you wake up, you will be renewed. The only thing lacking will be fear and doubt.”

It’s been a fearful month for me. I’ve avoided any spiritual work because I was afraid of going deeper into the things that were surfacing. Afraid of the changes that letting go would bring.

Last night was the first time I’ve meditated, done self-healing, or used any of the other tools that are available to me in over a month. I sat down in front of my altar and asked for help. That is always the hardest thing for me to do. I asked and I immediately felt the loving presence of spirit around me. I felt cradled in warmth and healing energy. I felt the release of many of the things I’ve held onto that were no longer serving me.

The one benefit of allowing myself to go lower than I like is that I can intensely feel the expansion of energy when spirit rushes in to help me. I take it for granted that I can feel that all the time when I’m taking care of myself. I don’t notice how it affects me until I’ve allowed the energy flow to trickle down to almost nothing.

So as I lay down to sleep last night, feeling waves of energy still flowing over me, I had full trust that spirit was burying me so that I could continue to grow. Those fears that I’ve been carrying with me were slowly, gently absorbed into the soil that surrounded my body. I woke up renewed, just as I was told.

Meet Susan

These past few weeks have been filled with moments that have triggered me. Moments that have made me feel like a downward spiral was coming. Moments of pain and overreaction that, at another time, would have sent me spiraling out of control.

Except…now I know that my intense physical and emotional reactions are nothing more than my ego kicking in. So I have to say, “Dammit Susan, (yes, I named my ego Susan) go sit in the corner.” “Dammit Susan, go sit on the porch.” “Dammit Susan, I know that you are feeling unsafe and I love you for trying to protect me.”

There are no bad guys here; no boogie men in my closet. Only my thoughts running wild, trying to make monsters out of mice. I am safe. In the chaos of these major life changes, I am surrounded by protectors.

In the knowledge that there is nothing trying to hurt me, not really, is understanding that everything that is happening now is only meant to free me from the things that are holding me back. I am on my way to freedom and success and happiness in my life. I am being guided to exactly where I need to be. Above all else, I am safe.

Intention Setting: 03/18/2018

This week:

I will be patient and flexible.

I will open my mind to new ways of thinking.

I will allow source energy to flow through me freely so that I can continue to heal myself and others in need.

I will gift myself with enough time to meditate deeply and give my thoughts to the universe.

I will care for myself as much as I care for  others.

I will be light in the darkness for someone who needs it.

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A glimpse into the past.

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If you could see me ten years ago, you wouldn’t recognize me.  I was depressed, in a marriage that I desperately wanted out of, and I felt like I didn’t have any real connections with anyone.  The next three years of my life were a blur of bad decisions and events that broke me down to a point that I thought I would never be able to recover.

My life was a mess.  I desperately wanted it to change.  I needed to heal on so many levels.  The levees that I had built up to hold in all my emotions and feelings were so close to overflowing.  Anyone who lives close to a river knows that a flood brings with it massive destruction.  After the flood, however, new life always springs up.  That is exactly what happened to me.  My levees broke, and I was reborn a happier, more alive person.

I think anyone who has been through a very traumatic experience and comes out better on the other side tends to have a desire to help other people do the same.  I went into Massage Therapy because I wanted a holistic way to help people feel better.  Being that close to people all the time helped me get an idea of what energy felt like.  I knew years ago that I wanted to be able to help people heal on deeper levels.  At that time, I didn’t know how or what else to do so I just kept flooding people with as much light and love as I could give.  Eventually, I started to burn out and I had no idea why or how to fix it.

This past year has brought with it some very deep healing and renewed my desire to help others do the same.  Early last year, I started training in High Vibration Energy Healing and learned to help people heal in a way that was a little healthier for myself too.  The attunements that came with my training have helped me transform my life.  Those emotional floods that used to hit me out of nowhere are suddenly a little easier to handle (most of the time!) and I recover and heal so much faster than I used to.  If you ever have the chance to experience this type of healing, please take it.  You will be amazed at the changes it can bring into your life.

There are times when I look back at my life and think that I should’ve done something differently.  Now I know that I experienced the things I did so that I would have a deeper understanding of suffering and the strength to get through tough situations.  I am grateful for this life that I am living.  I am grateful for the people who surround me with love and kindness.  Most of all, I’m grateful that I have the ability to do the same for them.