Spiraling around

I’ve allowed myself to spiral down a little recently…circling back around to some things that I still need to work on. Trying to allow my eyes to open to the things that make me less than perfect, which is, of course, my biggest flaw.

I don’t know where the need for perfection comes from. I don’t know why being seen as less than that throws me into terrified panic or why I hold myself to standards that are far above what I would expect from anyone else. I don’t know why I take that need out on the people that I love.

I really just want to feel like it doesn’t matter what I look like or that some days I’m a mess. I want to allow myself to let my guard down. I want to be less than perfect and be ok with it. I don’t know how to get there.

How do you let go of something that feels like it’s been with you your whole life? How do you release something when you don’t actually know what it stems from or where it’s hiding? I want to let it go because I don’t want to be perfect…I just want to be the me that I am when no one is looking.

Picture from pixabay.com

Moving Forward

I have stepped into a new life. One filled with new people and new experiences. I step into every day like it’s a dew covered field of grass, sparkling and reflecting light all around. The beautiful new light and energy surrounds me constantly. Even in times of frustration or anxiousness, I feel that I’m surrounded by only those who want just as much peace and success for me as I do for myself.

I realized not long ago that I was struggling to move forward. I thought I was hanging on to something in the past. I have realized that really my struggle was in wanting a specific path for my future. So I let that go. Let go of the life that I thought I would be living. Let go of the people I assumed would be there waiting in the distance.

That sparkly light that surrounds me now was suddenly there, illuminating each step. One step is all I need to see. One step into the beautiful present. One step across that dew covered field. I trust that I am being guided only by love and light and that this path is leading me to a place where I can best be of service and where my greatest good awaits.

Alignment

Last year, I found myself in a strange place in my career. I loved what I was doing but something was off. At the time, I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening. I made the tough decision to take a step back from something I had thrown my entire being into creating. The truth is, my businesses were going in a direction that was no longer in alignment with who I was and who I wanted to be. I intentionally…consciously…allowed them to drift away because I no longer wanted that for myself.

I find myself lately, allowing those dreams of what the future could hold to float in and out…easily and peacefully. No stress attached to them. No worry about the how’s and why’s. Just a loving awareness that I’m headed toward something that is in perfect alignment with who I have become and the me that’s out there in the future, waiting patiently for the current me to arrive.

I’m allowing myself to drop the masks that have been placed on me by myself and others. It’s getting easier for me to say, “This no longer belongs to me.” What a relief to throw those old aspects of self into the flames that are fueling massive changes in my life. I am content, for the first time in a long time, with just allowing my life to flow. So I flow, towards a destination I can’t see, but that I trust is perfectly laid out so that I can be of service to those who need me…myself included.