Last year, I found myself in a strange place in my career. I loved what I was doing but something was off. At the time, I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening. I made the tough decision to take a step back from something I had thrown my entire being into creating. The truth is, my businesses were going in a direction that was no longer in alignment with who I was and who I wanted to be. I intentionally…consciously…allowed them to drift away because I no longer wanted that for myself.
I find myself lately, allowing those dreams of what the future could hold to float in and out…easily and peacefully. No stress attached to them. No worry about the how’s and why’s. Just a loving awareness that I’m headed toward something that is in perfect alignment with who I have become and the me that’s out there in the future, waiting patiently for the current me to arrive.
I’m allowing myself to drop the masks that have been placed on me by myself and others. It’s getting easier for me to say, “This no longer belongs to me.” What a relief to throw those old aspects of self into the flames that are fueling massive changes in my life. I am content, for the first time in a long time, with just allowing my life to flow. So I flow, towards a destination I can’t see, but that I trust is perfectly laid out so that I can be of service to those who need me…myself included.
These past few weeks have been filled with moments that have triggered me. Moments that have made me feel like a downward spiral was coming. Moments of pain and overreaction that, at another time, would have sent me spiraling out of control.
Except…now I know that my intense physical and emotional reactions are nothing more than my ego kicking in. So I have to say, “Dammit Susan, (yes, I named my ego Susan) go sit in the corner.” “Dammit Susan, go sit on the porch.” “Dammit Susan, I know that you are feeling unsafe and I love you for trying to protect me.”
There are no bad guys here; no boogie men in my closet. Only my thoughts running wild, trying to make monsters out of mice. I am safe. In the chaos of these major life changes, I am surrounded by protectors.
In the knowledge that there is nothing trying to hurt me, not really, is understanding that everything that is happening now is only meant to free me from the things that are holding me back. I am on my way to freedom and success and happiness in my life. I am being guided to exactly where I need to be. Above all else, I am safe.
Killing time while waiting for a sports massage event to start, my friend and I decided to GPS our way to a local crystal mine. We pulled into the parking lot of a small crystal shop instead. “You have arrived.” Thank you, always accurate GPS.
As I glanced toward the window of the shop, I noticed a big sign in the window. “We have Shungite!” They had Shungite! This was a stone I had recently read about that’s known for its healing properties. We decided to get out and check out what they had.
The parking lot was surrounded by tables, piled high with crystals that weren’t considered high enough quality to be put inside. We made our way through the piles, picking up what is still one of my favorite pieces. When we finally made our way inside, we were greeted by a sweet, older woman. There was one other customer who left shortly after we came in.
The woman happily chatted with us about the crystals we picked up. She told me all about Shungite and explained how it could tell you if your body is acidic by rubbing black marks onto your skin when you are. (I didn’t believe her…but it’s absolutely true! Buy a Shungite bracelet and then drink coffee or soda and see for yourself.)
At one point she was talking to me and she glanced over my shoulder and nodded. I turned to see who she was looking at but no one was there. A few minutes later, I commented on how great it felt inside the shop. “It’s because of all the angels that are here!” she said with a smile. At that time, I didn’t believe angels existed so I just smiled and nodded and went on with my shopping.
As I sat my new additions to my crystal collection down on the counter, I mentioned that my daughter always says that she wishes she could feel thing the way I can. “Oh she can! She just doesn’t know it yet!” said the woman. I agreed with her and she checked me out.
She moved on to ringing up my friends things but suddenly stopped and looked at me and said, “Your son is going to be fine.” I looked up, not sure what to say. “You’re worried about your son. You don’t have to be. They are telling me he’s going to be fine.” I hadn’t mentioned my son to her.
I guess by the look of confusion on my face, she knew I needed more than that. “He has something going on right?” she asked. I nodded. My son has Asperger’s Syndrome and I had worried for years about what life would be like for him as he grew up.
“The angels ae telling me that it’s admirable that you worry, but it’s unnecessary…he will have everything figured out by the time he’s 23.”
And just as quickly as she started, she turned and went back to my friend. I stood there shocked, not sure what to say and fighting back tears. I don’t know what it was about that encounter that opened my mind to the idea that there really might be beings around me that I can’t physically see. Maybe because she didn’t say she was psychic. She didn’t take credit for knowing what she did. The angels knew I worried and she was just passing along a message that helped ease my mind.
By the time I made it home the next day, my mind was made up that I had been wrong in thinking there was nothing outside of our physical world. I don’t know that woman’s name. I don’t know why we ended up in her shop instead of at the crystal mine. I am forever grateful for that short conversation that set me on a healing path that I never thought was possible.
From that time on, I have let GPS take me wherever it wants. Sometimes, wrong directions point you exactly where you need to go.
If you could see me ten years ago, you wouldn’t recognize me. I was depressed, in a marriage that I desperately wanted out of, and I felt like I didn’t have any real connections with anyone. The next three years of my life were a blur of bad decisions and events that broke me down to a point that I thought I would never be able to recover.
My life was a mess. I desperately wanted it to change. I needed to heal on so many levels. The levees that I had built up to hold in all my emotions and feelings were so close to overflowing. Anyone who lives close to a river knows that a flood brings with it massive destruction. After the flood, however, new life always springs up. That is exactly what happened to me. My levees broke, and I was reborn a happier, more alive person.
I think anyone who has been through a very traumatic experience and comes out better on the other side tends to have a desire to help other people do the same. I went into Massage Therapy because I wanted a holistic way to help people feel better. Being that close to people all the time helped me get an idea of what energy felt like. I knew years ago that I wanted to be able to help people heal on deeper levels. At that time, I didn’t know how or what else to do so I just kept flooding people with as much light and love as I could give. Eventually, I started to burn out and I had no idea why or how to fix it.
This past year has brought with it some very deep healing and renewed my desire to help others do the same. Early last year, I started training in High Vibration Energy Healing and learned to help people heal in a way that was a little healthier for myself too. The attunements that came with my training have helped me transform my life. Those emotional floods that used to hit me out of nowhere are suddenly a little easier to handle (most of the time!) and I recover and heal so much faster than I used to. If you ever have the chance to experience this type of healing, please take it. You will be amazed at the changes it can bring into your life.
There are times when I look back at my life and think that I should’ve done something differently. Now I know that I experienced the things I did so that I would have a deeper understanding of suffering and the strength to get through tough situations. I am grateful for this life that I am living. I am grateful for the people who surround me with love and kindness. Most of all, I’m grateful that I have the ability to do the same for them.